“You guys!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “You have to see this video! It’s unbelievable!”
Pinkie yelled that at Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy, who were all in the same room, her bedroom, watching Pinkie on her computer typing in “Maud Pie Reacts to Teen Titans Go!” on the YouTube search bar. The highest ranking videos showed up as she entered the search, and clicking on the highest ranked one, which was called the same thing Pinkie had typed in, “Maud Pie Reacts to Teen Titans Go!”.
The video began playing…
In it, Maud Pie was sitting at a laptop, watching an episode of Teen Titans Go! called “Kicking a Ball and Pretending to Be Hurt” online. Like one would expect, she sat in silence the whole time giving the computer screen an apathetic glare.
“I don’t get it,” said Rainbow Dash in reaction to the reaction video, “it’s just a typical reaction video showing how the typical person reacts to an episode of this show.”
“But look at what happens at the end…” Pinkie replied as the video reached the part where Maud was questioned.
“So what did you think about that episode?” a man asked Maud, holding a microphone by her mouth.
“It was about terrible people doing stupid and awful things that didn’t make me laugh.” Maud Pie gave her opinion with full honesty.
“That’s...more stating a fact than giving your opinion...sadly.” the man with the microphone replied. “Do you….have any personal thoughts regarding the content you just viewed?”
“It’s content that I don’t care about.” Maud told it straight again.
In response, the man, though his face wasn’t shown in the video, got a look of apathy on his face. One that was too familiar...
Pinkie Pie stopped the video there and turned to her friends.
“You see?” she asked them.
“No,” replied Rainbow, “we’re blind. Blind to what the hay you’re trying to convey to us.”
“I’ve...gotta concur with Rainbow Dash here, Pinkie.” Applejack chimed in. “I’m equally confused.”
“I’m confused too,” intervened Fluttershy, “but more at the fact that we have the internet here in Equestria. It’s spooky. Who knows what naughty stuff Angel could be looking up right now...”
At Fluttershy’s cottage…
Sure enough, Angel was enjoying himself while watching videos on the internet...videos of carrots being chopped and diced into stew. Holding a carrot beside him, he loved every second of what he saw as he rubbed his carrot and drooled over it.
“Don’t worry yourself,” said Rarity, “Fluttershy dear. There are worse things in this world than naughty stuff. I know from firsthand experience...”
“Girls!” Pinkie yelled. “That’s not what this is about at all! Actually, in a weird way, it could be what this is about, because we’re dealing with a problem here involving something worse than naughty stuff…”
“What...problem?” Twilight Sparkle asked in confusion.
“This!” Pinkie replied as she scrolled down to the comments section of the video. Looking at it, every other pony besides Rainbow Dash gasped. The comments section was filled with rude people fighting, repeatedly complaining about how Teen Titans Go! was ruining Cartoon Network, and demanding that people sign petitions for it to be canceled, in hopes that it would get Cartoon Network back to the way it once was.
“Oh wow, the Youtube comment sections are awful, hope you’re enjoying your first day on the internet.” Rainbow remarked sarcastically.
“This is my first day looking at the internet,” replied Rarity, “and for the life of me, what is this savagery?!”
“This is insane…” Twilight commented on the comments. “Whatever Maud had been watching couldn’t have been bad enough to demand all of this…”
“These people have serious problems…” Applejack said bemusedly, reading the abrasive comments. “And one of them is that they need to get actual problems to worry about…”
Upon hearing Applejack’s remarks, Rainbow Dash smirked and chuckled to herself, unbeknownst to the others…
“I know Applejack,” said Pinkie Pie, “and that’s why we need to help them!”
“Uh...how?” Applejack asked in puzzlement.
“We need to help them get Cartoon Network back!” Pinkie proclaimed heroically as she stood on the computer chair she had been sitting on and held out her right foreleg, striking a dramatic pose.
In response, all of her friends just stared at her in confoundment before Rainbow Dash told her sarcastically…
“Well good luck with that!”
Rainbow then left Pinkie’s place. Looking around when she came outside, she made sure nopony else was around before she got out her cell phone and called somebody up.
“Boss…” she told the one who was on the other line. “I believe it’s time we release the M.V.P. on the general populace of YouTube…”
In Ponyville town square, there was a vendor, a blue, blonde-maned and yellow tailed unicorn, who was running a comic book stand called Comical Comics. There, he was selling comics to ponies who were in line.
“Don’t get mad, get MAD!” the merchant proclaimed as one of his satisfied customers trotted off happily with an issue of MAD magazine.
“Hello, sir!” the merchant greeted the next customer, a buff earth pony. “I must say, you’ve got a heroic stature! I’ll take it you fancy Marvel and DC! Or does something like this better suit your avatar?”
The merchant held out an issue of a Marvel comic and an issue of a DC comic in one hoof, and an issue of an Avatar: The Last Airbender comic in the other hoof. This vendor’s name was Panel Peddler, a comic book salesman as his name implied. For three years, he had made a living off of selling entertainment to others, but no amount of experience in the business industry could’ve prepared him for what was about to happen next…
All of a sudden, the sound of the stomping footsteps and blaring trunks of elephants could be heard. Panel Peddler, his customers, and many other ponies in the vicinity turned to face...Pinkie Pie riding an elephant. She was leading Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Fluttershy through town as they too were each on their own elephant following behind. With her, Pinkie Pie had a radio that was playing “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At the Disco and a megaphone in her right front hoof.
“ATTENTION, PONYVILLE!” Pinkie declared aloud through the megaphone. “The time has come to make our stand, our rebellion! We must rally ourselves up, and take back Cartoon Network for the people!”
The townsponies were confused upon hearing this and began talking amongst themselves.
“What? What’s Cartoon Network?” one pony asked over the sound of others muttering.
“Who are people?” another pony asked, unaware of who humans were. “Is that a fancy word for a herd?”
“What is this music?” a worried, devil-fearing pony asked. “It sounds so Astarothic!”
Twilight noticed how puzzled the ponies were from above her elephant and then turned to Pinkie.
“Pinkie, I don’t think this is working.” Twilight told her. “There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing in trying to help those people, but I don’t think that making a noise like this is the way to do it.”
“Come on Twilight,” replied Pinkie, “we don’t need to be understood, we just need to be heard!”
“Um...come again?” a confounded Twilight retorted.
“Don’t tell me you actually understood what the lot of those people in that comments section were talking about!” Pinkie exclaimed. “But we still noticed them! And now we’re doing something about their problem! You see how it works? Stoics finish last! Only the loud, rambunctious, and outspoken get what they want!”
“It’s true…” Fluttershy said somberly. “Case in point right here…”
Fluttershy was referring to the elephant she was on, who was now right by Panel Peddler’s stand. Making a loud noise with its trunk, Fluttershy’s elephant wrapped its trunk around all of Panel’s issues of the Peanuts comics and devoured them.
“Hey!” Panel exclaimed, trying to avoid being harsh of tone. “You can’t do that!”
The elephant smacked Panel out of his stand with his trunk and continued to stomp by laughing. An obviously bemused Panel sulked on the ground.
“Why couldn’t he have at least just done that to the Family Circus comics…” he grumbled. “This won’t go unpunished…”
“Uh-oh…” Pinkie said, having seen what happened to Panel. “Maybe this is getting out of…”
“CONTROLLING THE MASSES WITH ELEPHANTS?!” Princess Celestia screamed insanely as the five ponies and Panel Peddler were seen in her throne room. “ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF YOUR MINDS?!”
“No, just out of control.” Pinkie replied.
“What Panel has told me has driven me MAD!” Celestia cried. “And not like the Cartoon Network show! It pains me to do this, but I must hand down some penalties!”
“Princess, please!” Twilight pleaded. “We didn’t mean for Panel’s comics to get destroyed! We’ll do what we can to help-”
“THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!” Celestia hollered.
“HUH?!” the ponies all shouted, flabbergasted. “Then...what is?!”
In response, Celestia clapped her hooves together twice. The lights turned off, and when they turned back on, two ponies who were dressed in white shirts, black suits, and red ties and bore an uncanny resemblance to Maud Pie appeared in front of the gang. One wore a mask that looked like Charles Schultz’s face, and the other wore a mask that looked like Brendon Urie’s face.
“You are being sued for copyright infringement!” Celestia yelled.
The group just stared at the situation blankly and said…
“Yes,” said the Charles Schultz-masked pony in an uncannily familiar and dull voice, “I represent the sixteen-year late Charles Schultz.”
“And I represent the fashionably late to the party Brendon Urie.” the Brendon Urie-masked pony told them, also speaking in an oddly familiar and drab monotone.
“On Mr. Schultz’ behalf,” explained the Charles Schultz-masked pony, “I am suing you, Panel Peddler, for the unauthorized use of our copyrighted product, Peanuts, mass solicitation to a certain massive consumer.”
“As for you five,” said the Brendon Urie-masked pony, “you are being sued for the unauthorized use of a licensed song, The Emperor’s New Clothes. I am afraid your remix of it involving elephants stomping and blaring does not fall under Fair Use as it did not produce an original beat. It is merely noise that takes no thought process to produce, and I’m afraid that there is a wide-scale copyright on such.”
The group still stared at the situation blankly and said…
“STOP SHOUTING!” Celestia shouted. “I AM THE YELLER BELLY HERE!”
“How do you expect us to react?” Panel asked. “What, do you just want us to stand here and go, “Oh, we’re being unjustly extorted. Oh well, that happens.”?”
An awkward silence filled the room before the Schultz-masked pony said…
“Yeah. That’s exactly how we wanted you to react. That’s also exactly how everyone should react to being wronged. To just put aside their emotions and accept it. It’s what they end up doing in the end anyways. We know this, as we were once the kings of reaction videos...”
“And soon,” said the Urie-masked pony in an ominous tone, “that’s exactly how everyone will react. Once we release the M.V.P., the Maud Virus of Pie-provision, upon the general public, we can guarantee that no one will care. Mwa ha ha.”
With that dull guffaw, the Urie-masked pony pulled a peculiar-looking gun out of his suit. It resembled a tranquilizer gun, but instead of a sleep-inducing injection, the needles it fired were laced with a gray and purple fluid that caused a...transformative effect. Immediately when the Urie-masked pony drew this gun, he shot Panel Peddler square in the heart with one of these needles. Instantly, he fell to the floor from shock, and began writhing on the ground as he felt the liquid from the needle flow through his body and watched in horror as he saw the effect it was having on him…
“Awaah…” Panel made a fearful sound as he watched the fur on his body turn from blue to gray, both his yellow hair and tail change to a purple color, and his body structure change from that of a stallion’s to that of a mare’s. “AWAAH...aaahh.”
Panel’s tone in voice went from terrified to mollified as soon as he finished transforming into a mare that was indistinguishable from Maud Pie. He got up off of the floor, looked at himself, and said…
“Oh, this is different.”
The ponies gasped in horror as Pinkie Pie broke down crying.
“How will I ever introduce him to my family now?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It will feel so weird and wrong!”
“Fear not…” the Urie-masked pony said with a sinister smile as he started reloading the tranq-like gun with another M.V.P. laced needle, as the slide had locked. “Soon, you won’t feel anything except for the desire to not feel anything…”
But before he could finish reloading the tranq-like gun, a stray bullet hit said gun and knocked it out of his hoof. Confused, the two masked ponies turned to the source of the bullet. They saw that outside a window, Rainbow Dash, who was wearing sunglasses and had a M1911 pistol in her hoof, was flying in the air. She had shot the tranq-like gun out of the pony with the Brendon Urie mask’s hoof in order to save her friends and give them a chance to strike back, which they took. All of them with the exception of the Maud Pie-turned Panel, who didn’t care, charged at the masked ponies and jumped on them, pinning them down to the floor. They then threw off their masks to reveal that they were actually…
Maud Pie and Maud Pie.
“I KNEW IT!” Celestia bellowed. “And by that, I knew for a fact all along! After all, I was part of their evil plot!”
“What a twist!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And I thought the traitor was going to be the one wearing the sunglasses!”
“Hey, I’m the traitor here!” Rainbow yelled from outside. “I’m the one wearing the sunglasses!”
“Oh, somepony help me…” Rarity said, ready to faint. “I just can’t follow this anymore…”
“Then allow us to explain…” the Maud Pies offered to elaborate. “We are not just duplicates of Maud Pie. Before we were infected with the virus, the M.V.P., we were two adequate enough men known as the Fine Bros. That’s right, we were the ones who had Maud Pie come on our YouTube show to react to that Teen Titans Go! episode.”
“But why?” the group asked in surprise.
“Money.” Rainbow said in a deadpan tone.
“Not only that,” the Maud Pies continued, “but also, we wanted to spread a message to the Youtube community. That this was the way it was meant to be. This was how we wanted everybody to react to things they didn’t like from now on. To just sit back, say nothing, and not care as moments of their “precious” lives were wasted. That video shall remain an eternal monument to the day our world was changed forever, made anew as part of...the React World Order.”
“But why would you want no one to care about anything anymore?” Panel, though now Maud Pie, asked. “I mean, look at me now, and even I would still get bored in a world where no one ever reacted to something with actual emotion.”
“I’m already bored with how everypony’s just standing around asking questions and not giving a flying feather that I totally sold them out…” Rainbow remarked unhappily.
“True,” replied the Maud Pie-turned Fine Bros, “but you would get over it if you absolutely had to. You don’t honestly think that a mind not willing to sacrifice their personal feelings for the sake of the world could change it for the better, do you? Something that both the Equestrian race and human race have begun to realize is that emotions have no value or meaning in the face of the world’s evolution and what must be done to set its course…”
“The human race?” the group asked.
“Yes…” the Fine Bros. Maud Pies answered. “We were once humans, and so were our fans before we unleashed the M.V.P. on them. Thanks to your defecting friends, Princess Celestia and Rainbow Dash, we were able to create this wonderful virus. Celestia was the one who, with her magic, made the virus out of a DNA sample from Maud Pie, which was given to her by Rainbow Dash under her request. Rainbow then gave the virus to us and acted as the go-between for us and Celestia. In short, both we and your ruler plotted out everything together.”
“Inconceivable…” the dumbstruck group replied. “When you say it like that, it’s hard for us to get mad at Rainbow Dash. What choice did she have?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Rainbow exclaimed. “They weren’t threatening to torture me or kill me if I didn’t comply! Can’t you be just, I don’t know, a little bit angry at me for being the Judas of this story?! Or at least question why I was able to save you guys from being transformed but not that other innocent dude?! Show just a little bit of emotion?! Who cares that you’re going to get over it later?! How will I know later if you don’t tell me your true feelings now?!”
“Your true feelings now?!” Rainbow’s words echoed in Twilight Sparkle’s mind...and in turn, Twilight realized something…
“Hey guys…” Twilight spoke. “I’ve learned something today. This whole issue has gotten really overcomplicated and out of hoof. On one side, I can see the logic behind this whole React World Order thing. There are problems in our lives we should just ignore because there is no real solution to them that’s within our grasp. Even though our efforts were valiant in trying to help those Youtubers out, did parading a bunch of elephants through the land really do anything for them?”
Pinkie looked down to the floor, frowning in embarrassment.
“But on the other side,” continued Twilight, “to just try to solve all our problems by ignoring them and even going so far as to deny feeling any sort of emotion about them...isn’t that the same thing as denying life? What’s the point of living if you can’t have an emotional reaction to new experiences? How will you ever mentally and spiritually mature if the way you respond to everything new is just…”Oh. This is different.””
The Maud Pie-turned Panel Peddler looked down to the floor, feeling silly.
“It’s also selfish in cases like this.” Twilight noted. “Rainbow’s our friend, and we totally ignored her when she deserved constructive criticism for what she did. How will she learn not to betray us in the future if we don’t correct her now? If we show her we don’t care now, it won’t be authentic if we just act like we care later when we’ve gotten over it.”
Twilight and the others then turned to Rainbow Dash.
“So Rainbow,” they said, “we’re sorry for not getting angry at you.”
Rainbow smiled in response.
“So to abridge the lesson you learned Twilight,” said the Maud Pie-turned Panel, “is that sometimes, apathy is golden, but other times, expression of your true feelings is golden.”
“AND TO EXPAND ON THAT,” abruptly shouted Celestia, “FRIENDS SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH BEING JERKS TO YOU, BECAUSE TRUE FRIENDS CRITICIZE EACH OTHER FOR THEIR IMMORAL BEHAVIOR! BUT AS LONG AS YOU’RE A RAGING INTERNET DEGENERATE OR A CORPORATE SCUMBAG, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH WHATEVER THE TARTARUS YOU WANT AND NO ONE WILL GIVE A DAMNATION!”
“Wow!” everyone in the throne room exclaimed, smiling widely. “You really couldn’t have said it better!”
And so ends the story of Maud Pie’s reaction to Teen Titans Go!. It mattered not what happened after with the M.V.P. or if anyone else was infected by it, for we all become Maud Pie at one point of our lives. So to end this, allow me to say one more thing…
Upon reading this, a human man sitting on his computer chair witnessed his human hands transforming into hooves lined with gray fur. The same happened with his feet as his human ears became pony ears. His midsection contorted and stretched into an equine shape and so did his rear end as a purple tail grew out of it. The man’s hair, once brown, then became purple. His face changed shape too as part of it stretched out to form a snout. Now a purple-haired earth pony covered in gray fur, the man’s transformation into Maud Pie completed as his blue eyes gained a shade of green, and the first sight that caught his eyes in his new state of being was this on his computer screen…
Merry April Fools!