by Davidism » Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:26 pm
Well... I'm not going to judge anyone for their passions, though I would like to be the voice of sound wisdom here, seeing as I normally wear the cap of Realist more than I do Pessimist; so here goes.
First, I want to strongly warn you against having sexual intercourse with animals. Not because I think it's wrong, or anything like that. If you wanted to have sex with an angler fish, I wouldn't care, so it isn't judgement on my part.
The reasons I want to caution, hell strongly caution against it, is because you could/will get terribly sick from sex with animals, especially equines, as they carry many diseases that are passed sexually to humans.
For example:
Q-Fever is a nice one, that can be passed from a loving horse to a human, by you just breathing in their dried feces, and coming into contact with their urine, or blood, and of course vaginal fluids. The cause of Q-Fever is the bacteria Coxiella burnetii which if caught early can be treated easily with antibiotics. Of course extreme cases of Q-Fever will have you on medication and treatment for months, not to mention it will have long lasting effects to your body which will make you susceptible to Cirrhosis, hepatitis, and other liver problems; Encephalitis, Infection of the heart valves (endocarditis), Inflammation of the heart lining (pericarditis), Inflammation of the heart muscle (myocarditis), lung scarring (interstitial pulmonary fibrosis), Meningitis, and of course our favorite, Pneumonia.
Leptospirosis is another little gem that your loving Equine companion may bestow upon you, and this one is pretty nasty. Leptospirosis is a severe bacterial infection that occurs when people are exposed to several types of the Leptospira bacteria. Amazingly, this isn't spread from person to person, so the chances of me getting in nature aside from sexual intercourse with an animal are pretty rare... unless of course I drank stagnant water in a tropical jungle somewhere.
Some of this charmers symptoms include; Dry cough, Fever, Headache, Muscle pain, Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea; shaking chills, Abdominal pain, Abnormal lung sounds, Bone pain, Conjunctivitis, Enlarged lymph glands, Enlarged spleen or liver, Joint aches, Muscle rigidity, Muscle tenderness, Skin rash and Sore throat. There are a slew of medications used to treat it, and of course it comes with a complimentary stay in an ICU(intensive care unit), and more severe cases can be life threatening. The aftermath will leave you susceptible to a Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction whenever you're treated with penicillin, Meningitis, Severe bleeding, and a Partridge in a Pair Tree.
I've saved the best for last...
Brucellosis. Of course you get it from the Brucella bacteria, and naturally it's found in animals, especially horses. You get this one by coming into contact with their meat(no Cupcake reenactments I guess), and from contact with the animal's placenta, and pretty much all the good stuff that goes on in their love tunnel.
On an encouraging note, Brucellosis is rare in the United States. About 100 - 200 cases occur each year, but the statistics don't say much about other places, and of course farmers, and vets and people in routine contact with the animals are more at risk than those not having the sexual intercourse.
Acute Brucellosis may begin with mild flu-like symptoms, or symptoms such as: Abdominal pain, Back pain, Chills, Excessive sweating, Fatigue, Fever, Headache, Joint pain, Loss of appetite, Weakness, Weight loss. High fever spikes usually occur every afternoon. The name "undulant" fever is because the fever rises and falls in waves.
Probably the best part about this gift from our animal companions, is that it's the gift that keeps on giving, and once contracted the illness may be chronic and last for years. Not to mention that one of the ways to test for it, is with a "Bone Marrow Culture", where they bore a huge hole in your ass till they scoop out some of the bone in your hip, among other things. Relapse may occur, and symptoms may continue for years. As with tuberculosis, the illness can come back after a long period of time. And as a parting send off, you may have complications with Bone and joint sores (lesions), Encephalitis, Infective endocarditis, Meningitis.
Now, I'm not trying to scare you or anything. I just want to educate you to the risks you'll be taking by having intercourse with an animal, especially, sex with horses, so that when you contract one of these, or accidentally get kicked in the head from trying to perform oral sex on a mare, and become brain damaged, paraplegic, or fatally injured, that you don't accuse those of us that care, from withholding this valuable information from you.
The good news is, I don't know of any diseases that makes one's dick drop or rot off, so there is always that perk. Just be careful, because horses buck for no reason, and if you shackle the animal to have sex with it, that may be animal cruelty in some states.
Anyway... ***throws some peace sign*** best of luck to you with all that. Me I'll take my most adorable cute and loving fiance over a horse any day.