Looking for Feedback

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Looking for Feedback

Postby WinterAlicornGlaciem » Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:53 pm

If any-pony could let me know what they think of my story I would be greately thankful

http://ponyfictionarchive.net/viewstory.php?sid=1753
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Re: Looking for Feedback

Postby Starlight Dragon » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:37 pm

I Liked it though i found it was lacking something that would make you want to read more chapters, the first one also lacked what i would feel as proper ending. And i believe some proof reading might have seen this fixed in the first chapter "as fun as hearing our parents talk is, i figured watching grass grow would..." may be edtied to read 'as fun it is to hear our parents talk, I though that watching the grass grow would be a more entertaing way to pass the time'
"With the return of darkness and total chaos, at the return of her dark master, the Dragon will rise again, to serve her master once more."
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