Kicked out of Walmart

Forum games! Loosen up, live a little.

Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Ziddia » Tue May 31, 2011 5:25 pm

This is a fun creative game, most enjoyed by writers! We need to come up with 100 ways to get kicked out of Walmart (or your national superstore).

I'll start.

1. Buy $500 worth of piggy banks and pay in pennys. After putting them all in the piggy banks.

Now, TPBM would write like this:

2. My reason that isn't as awesome as Zid's.

Enjoy.
I'm the author of Amnesia's Blessing, a 4-part shipping series. More info here
Ziddia
 
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 7:32 am

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby FillyInTheBlanks43 » Tue May 31, 2011 6:49 pm

2. Go to the hunting section. Grab a large hunting knife. Hold said knife between your teeth. Proceed to make your way through the store, all the while muttering to yourself, documenting your every move as if on a nature/hunting show. Stop when you get to the giant cage-like display that contains the ridiculously big, colorful bouncy balls (children's toy aisle). Climb inside the cage. Scream and pop all of the balls with your knife, "fighting your way out".
"You tell me what you saw, and I'll tell you what you missed when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when Time and Life shook hands and said good bye.
You missed when the Earth folded in on itself and said 'good luck'."
User avatar
FillyInTheBlanks43
 
Posts: 820
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 12:41 pm
Location: North Carhooflina

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby dapples » Tue May 31, 2011 8:43 pm

3. Go to the women's underwear section and fill your cart. Go to the meat section and put panties on all the frozen turkeys.
User avatar
dapples
 
Posts: 207
Joined: Sun May 22, 2011 2:26 pm

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Squirrel » Tue May 31, 2011 8:50 pm

dapples wrote:3. Go to the women's underwear section and fill your cart. Go to the meat section and put panties on all the frozen turkeys.

I laughed a LOT.

4. Look for anything marked "unbreakable" or "unbendable" and test it.
-Squirrel
User avatar
Squirrel
 
Posts: 158
Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 10:06 pm

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby HeatWave » Tue May 31, 2011 11:52 pm

5. Incessantly and repeatedly press all the buttons on the toy isle labeled 'Try Me'.
-Nothing ever goes according to plan, so go plan nothing accordingly.
User avatar
HeatWave
 
Posts: 245
Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 4:09 pm

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Ziddia » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:39 am

HeatWave wrote:5. Incessantly and repeatedly press all the buttons on the toy isle labeled 'Try Me'.


Done this. Didnt do it for long enough to get kicked out but I was a nuisance.

6. Find a pool noodle and ride it down the aisles. Then break it. Wash rinse and repeat.
I'm the author of Amnesia's Blessing, a 4-part shipping series. More info here
Ziddia
 
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 7:32 am

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Draco_2k » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:52 am

7. Fill a trolley with products from one long row of shelves naming each item out loud, turn a corner, then walk in backwards and start putting the items back on the shelves while loudly chanting gibberish.
User avatar
Draco_2k
 
Posts: 746
Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 2:27 am

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby dapples » Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:45 am

8. Stand up on one of those large stacked displays of beer crates and begin a rant about the dangers of corporate globalization. Bring attention to the stranglehold Wal-Mart has on the pricing of goods and its control of exports and imports, as well as its steamrolling of small business. If the reaction to the speech is positive, lead a customer protest that brings in the media and brings attention to your message. If the reaction is negative, start throwing Gogurt at people.
User avatar
dapples
 
Posts: 207
Joined: Sun May 22, 2011 2:26 pm

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Draco_2k » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:16 am

Pony forums, bringing you social unrest one post at a time.

9. Try to pay for your purchase with monopoly money.
User avatar
Draco_2k
 
Posts: 746
Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 2:27 am

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby FillyInTheBlanks43 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:40 am

10. Wear a trench coat and a fake mustache and go to the toy section. Enter the aisle filled with little girls' toys. Take every MLP toy off the shelves and open them. Sit on the floor and recreate every episode of MLP: FiM in a creepy high-pitched voice, pausing only to stare/grin creepily at children and their parents when they attempt to enter the aisle.
"You tell me what you saw, and I'll tell you what you missed when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when Time and Life shook hands and said good bye.
You missed when the Earth folded in on itself and said 'good luck'."
User avatar
FillyInTheBlanks43
 
Posts: 820
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 12:41 pm
Location: North Carhooflina

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Drax99 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:06 pm

Having worked for walmart, I can see, and have seen, most of these happening.
"Darkness is not the absence of light,
But merely the inability to perceive."


AS SEEN ON THE INTERWEB!
DeviantArt
FanFicion.net
User avatar
Drax99
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:53 pm
Location: Baltimore

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Syd » Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:27 pm

11. Every time you meet a person or a worker tell them to "wake up". Collect in your cart nothing but spoons and frying pans. When your ready to check out, tell them that your money has gone. When they ask you what you mean, just keep telling them that your money has ran away.
User avatar
Syd
 
Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:04 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby USMC Brony » Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:37 am

I don't usually shop at walmart, I'm one of those small-buisnness kinda guys...

Although, I got kicked out of a best buy once for putting Gary Busey's 'family portrait' up as the background on all the display computers and tablets.

And an apple store once for changing 3 different people's facebook picture to this because they were stupid enough to leave themselves logged in.


Although, as a hypothetical: somehow manage to take an upper decker in each of the toilets.

That'll get you thrown out pretty quick.
As I walk through he valley of death, I have no fear. Why? Because I am the baddest motherfucker in that valley, ready to tear anything that comes at me limb from limb.I am a Marine, let's get motivated. Stay frosty.
User avatar
USMC Brony
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:09 pm
Location: Ontario Canada.

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Drax99 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:28 pm

USMC Brony wrote:I don't usually shop at walmart, I'm one of those small-buisnness kinda guys...
And an apple store once for changing 3 different people's facebook picture to this because they were stupid enough to leave themselves logged in.
Although, as a hypothetical: somehow manage to take an upper decker in each of the toilets.

That'll get you thrown out pretty quick.


The facebook thing, Epic. But Upper-decker in EACH of the toilets? Even I'm not that full of shit.
"Darkness is not the absence of light,
But merely the inability to perceive."


AS SEEN ON THE INTERWEB!
DeviantArt
FanFicion.net
User avatar
Drax99
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:53 pm
Location: Baltimore

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby USMC Brony » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:55 pm

Yeah ok, maybe that was a bit extreme...

Sneak into the employee only bathroom and take an upper decker.
As I walk through he valley of death, I have no fear. Why? Because I am the baddest motherfucker in that valley, ready to tear anything that comes at me limb from limb.I am a Marine, let's get motivated. Stay frosty.
User avatar
USMC Brony
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:09 pm
Location: Ontario Canada.

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby FillyInTheBlanks43 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:59 pm

You can't get kicked out for that, they won't know it's you.
"You tell me what you saw, and I'll tell you what you missed when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when Time and Life shook hands and said good bye.
You missed when the Earth folded in on itself and said 'good luck'."
User avatar
FillyInTheBlanks43
 
Posts: 820
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 12:41 pm
Location: North Carhooflina

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby USMC Brony » Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:21 pm

FillyInTheBlanks43 wrote:You can't get kicked out for that, they won't know it's you.


Leave a note? Although that would be stupid...

So here's my non hypothetical actually workable idea:

1.Obtain DVD's and CD's
2. Put 3 hours of Nyancat on each, mp3 for CD's and the actual video for DVD's
3. Covertly place a cd/dvd in each of the DVD/CD players... Bonus points if you manage getting one in the PA system.
4. Set all to play at the same time.
5. ???
6. PROFIT!

OR! rub shaving cream around your dog's muzzle, place treats in your pocket and have it chase you into the store all the while screaming:
"HALP! IT HAZ TEH RABIEZ!
As I walk through he valley of death, I have no fear. Why? Because I am the baddest motherfucker in that valley, ready to tear anything that comes at me limb from limb.I am a Marine, let's get motivated. Stay frosty.
User avatar
USMC Brony
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:09 pm
Location: Ontario Canada.

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby BronyOfSteel » Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:29 pm

grab two brooms.
get megaphone.
go to bike section of store.
get two bikes.
have jousting tournament with as many people watching as possible, while one guy shoutcasts with the megaphone.
extra points if both are decked out in "armor" taken from the costume section.
this has gotten me banned from almost every walmart around where i live.
Confound these ponies, they drive me to write.
User avatar
BronyOfSteel
 
Posts: 443
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:59 pm
Location: halfway between reality and fantasy

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Drax99 » Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:09 pm

USMC Brony wrote:
FillyInTheBlanks43 wrote:You can't get kicked out for that, they won't know it's you.


Leave a note? Although that would be stupid...

So here's my non hypothetical actually workable idea:

1.Obtain DVD's and CD's
2. Put 3 hours of Nyancat on each, mp3 for CD's and the actual video for DVD's
3. Covertly place a cd/dvd in each of the DVD/CD players... Bonus points if you manage getting one in the PA system.
4. Set all to play at the same time.
5. ???
6. PROFIT!


Does putting a 12 hour pony marathon count? I did that at work on the tablets, sales went up. Nobody ever found out it was me though.
"Darkness is not the absence of light,
But merely the inability to perceive."


AS SEEN ON THE INTERWEB!
DeviantArt
FanFicion.net
User avatar
Drax99
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:53 pm
Location: Baltimore

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby USMC Brony » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:02 pm

Not exactly Walmart,

So I got a new job at a golf course, working the outdoor bar. Some asshole kept hitting balls from the range at the bar, he was piss drunk, but got one good shot and hit me in my cast. There's a nother guy ('nam vet. named Gordo, guy's tough as nails lol, big handlebar mustache and shit too) grabs the guy by the scruff of his neck drags then throws him into a pond on the ninth hole.

That's how to get kicked out of a golf course folks.
As I walk through he valley of death, I have no fear. Why? Because I am the baddest motherfucker in that valley, ready to tear anything that comes at me limb from limb.I am a Marine, let's get motivated. Stay frosty.
User avatar
USMC Brony
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:09 pm
Location: Ontario Canada.

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Drax99 » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:03 pm

bah, cant find a usable Youtube link. It reminds me of the episode where Chris is working at the golf course driving the ball gathering machine and everyone hitting balls at him. Guy whips out his cellphone

"Lynn, cancel my afternoon meetings. I gotta hit more balls at this fat kid."
"Darkness is not the absence of light,
But merely the inability to perceive."


AS SEEN ON THE INTERWEB!
DeviantArt
FanFicion.net
User avatar
Drax99
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:53 pm
Location: Baltimore

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby sebastiano ford » Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:15 pm

stand at the entrance and whenever someone tries to leave block their way and scream "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" when a member of staff approaches you shout "THE DARK RIDER APPROACHES" And then run.
If you are reading this you are no longer on the actual comment
sebastiano ford
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:32 am

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Sir Derpsalot » Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:02 pm

Open all the drinks in the refridgerators near the check out to "see if they are fresh" then put them back.
In your fridge, stealin your muffinz
User avatar
Sir Derpsalot
 
Posts: 89
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:49 pm
Location: Annapolis

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Knackerman » Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:44 am

What number are we on? *checks*

12.) Go into one of the changing booths and sit for about ten minutes. Then exclaim as loudly as possible "Hey, there's no toilet paper in here!"
User avatar
Knackerman
 
Posts: 971
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:41 pm
Location: Behind you with fresh cupcakes

Re: Kicked out of Walmart

Postby Flutterspy » Sun Sep 04, 2011 3:00 am

Find a Walmart without a greeter. Take it upon yourself to do the job gratis. Improvisation heavily encouraged.

Some suggestions:

- Welcome the incoming customers to a different retail store.
- Follow one customer or group of customers around, acting as a tour guide. Try to take control and have them follow you. Promptly lead them towards the exit and conclude the tour.
- Accusingly ask the customers what took them so long, following with something like, "your grandmother was worried sick!"
- Greet customers as though you were lost or trapped in the store for a long time and are frantically delighted to see another human soul. Explore different concepts, for example, "How did you get here? Did you look into the mirror too?!"
- Say something to the effect of, "Ah yes, the Grand Master told us we had some... new blood..."
User avatar
Flutterspy
 
Posts: 352
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:50 pm
Location: Connecticut, U.S.A.

Next

Return to Games

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron